Surrender to God

This past 2 years of my 30 yr marriage have been one of the hardest periods of my life, an absolute roller coaster and during the peaks of this ride,
I have wanted to bail many times.
The more I tried to control my destination and outcome,
the more I felt out of control.
I remember many times praying for guidance because I was so lost and so broken inside.
I piled issues of my daily life on my marriage counselor ,
who could only try to give me advise and help me many times to see the situation in another way.


I tied hard to mend my mistakes and bad choices and come to terms with the shear pain I caused, but more than not I felt like I was on a hamster wheel going nowhere.
I kept telling myself I wasn't going to live like this much longer.
Then one day after another prayer I heard a voice telling me to
“let it all go and trust me, your marriage will be healed in time, surrender it all to me”
This voice I believe was God.
I tied for so long to fix it and I couldn't.
At that moment, I gave it all to God.
I stopped trying to control the outcome of my marriage.
I stopped bouncing between love and hate and just accepted the words of God.
I trusted God would mend and heal my marriage,
just as he said he would, I knew it was a process and it was time for me to trust and practice patience.
I believed all along because I watched what God was doing in my life already,
such amazing miracles, I just wanted it to be complete.
I accepted the fact there was so much brokenness still.
God had brought us so far and I knew he would bring us the rest of the way in his own time. It was a process and we had more to learn.


So from a place of so much darkness that I was sure I would never see light again,
so much pain I thought I would never live through it and so much prayer I though God would stopping hearing me.
The brokenness was big and real and I thought there was no way back from the dark hole we were in.
Our 2 marriage counselors at the time we were both going, struggled to keep us together
I never stopped trying.
I never stopped doing the right things.
I never stopped seeking the word of God
and I never gave up hope and faith.
When I finally surrendered, I started feeling changes happen.
I watch God totally envelope my husbands life,
I saw his heart change which helped me to find some sense of peace and happiness again.
I let go of all my expectation and I let God change our hearts and apply the true healing we both wanted so badly.

I believe in God because after I watched true miracles in my marriage,
I couldn't deny his true existence

Today I have peace and happiness again.
I start each day with God.
I have a marriage that feels better than it has in it's 30 years and growing.


It brings tears to my eyes thinking about our journey the past 2 years.
The roller coaster ride is over, I didn't bale,


Only God could have ended our story this way and I can't wait to see what God has
in-store for us next because I truly believe that long after the worst storms have passed that God had made us for each other and if God can heal such intense brokenness and pain,


what will he do with us when we have devoted total commitment to each other with him as our guid
ONLY GOD

~ ♥ ~ Thoughts on Happiness ~ ♥ ~

The happiest people don't necessarily

have the best of everything,

they just make the most

of everything that

comes along

the way and

 what they

already 

have.
♥♥
♥

~ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ~

Happiness ~ Soothing your Soul

"I closed my eyes and drank in the powerful smell of blossoms, the sun warmed my face. My soul was at peace. My spirit felt happiness.

I could see the beauty in God's world"

Sometimes that is all we need to feel a sense of happiness in our lives, a chance to breath in and wash away all the "stuff" we carry with us.

We all need that once in a while, our lives in being the woman that we are,  require a little time for ourselves.

One of the hardest lessons I have learned in life was that no one else is responsible for making me happy. We make our own happiness and yes the people around you can contribute to your happiness - but in the end it only matters what we do with it, what it is that brings us joy, how we find it and how we hold on to it.

I try to start my day with a christian song or a bible verse. This brings me peace.

How will it work for you?

Do you volunteer, and act of kindness, bubble bath, take a walk or maybe a sip of your favorite tea.

You get to write the ending to your own story in this post.

Today choose to look for that one thing that brings your heart joy and then pass it on to someone else.

Hugs.

 

~ YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE..~

“I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5

Do you ever feel alone?
When you walk in christian faith God promises you are not alone.
What an incredible promise that is.

Sometimes life just beats us up, sometimes we feel forgotten. This is what moved  me to start this blog, to share sadness, happiness and uplift woman no matter who you are. We all go through loneliness in our lives.
I am here to say you are not alone, I feel for you, you are beautiful, you are worthy and you are loved.
Take a deep breath and repeat those words out loud to yourself.
Open your eyes and heart to something beautiful ~ a new blossomed flower, a bird, the blue sky or a child's smile. Take a deep breath. I want you to feel better.
Take one minute at a time, take one day at a time.Calm your heart and quiet your mind. You are unique.
See the greatness in life that surrounds you. God has incredible love for you.
There is so much great beauty in yourself and life - go find it now.